I got another mass email from Justin today. It was the second email I got from him since we last saw each other over 2 weeks ago. I have been pretty upset over his absence for 2 weeks. First he was out of country for almost 3 months, then out of nowhere I got "Hey I'm back, want to come over?" message. We slept together 3 times within a week. Then nothing until today. What the fuck. Then I was thinking to myself, maybe the mass emails count. Maybe he is wondering why I haven't responded back to his emails (well, probably his mass emails are sent to millions of other people each time. I know..). Anyways I decided to reach out to him. I commented on a particular piece on his new CD then wished him good luck on his concert. 9 hours later, he responded; "Thanks, so cool that you like it. Not the most common choice. In_____, playing tonight. How are you? Did you survive the hurricane?". Sounds like he hasn't been thinking of me. I can tell. I don't even know what I want from him, but I don't like the way he has been treating me (or the way he hasn't been treating me!). Obviously he is not into me. I know I can walk away from this if I want to. But I do enjoy his company. He is super funny, fun, damn sexy and charming. Great sex. I love his music. It's not like I want to lose him for good. When I first met him, I had so much expectations..I thought finally I found someone I really like and I thought he might be someone I could have a real relationship with. I thought maybe I could end it with N at last and start dating for real (even though I had a SD on the side). At the same time, I had a feeling that Justin might turn into another N. When I first saw Justin on the stage, I was instantly head over heels for him. I didn't think I would meet him but I did. The same way I met N after I saw him on TV 3 years ago. The rest is history.
N and I made love today. Damn good one. I think we have a great, very stable "non-relationship".
I'm meeting CA SD tomorrow! We will have lunch at this very fancy restaurant I picked (he always wants me to plan what we do). I like making reservations on opentable.com because I can collect points every time I book and dine. I get free meals out of free meals. Hahaha. It's perfect- tomorrow is the first day of the month. He will give me half of my monthly allowance. I'm assuming no sex tomorrow...we only talked about lunch and taking a walk in the park.
Haha I love it! Free meals out of free meals :P Hmmm thoughts on Justin…he's just not ready to settle down. He's going to play the field, so if you need something deeper you should seek it elsewhere…but its hard when the ones you like don't have that mutual realization and appreciation. Definitely don't cut him off, but don't reward him for not being a good boy ;-)
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