He Shall Have Me Tonight

Ron and I officially broke up.  We hadn't seen each other since May so it wasn't like we were dating for real.  We had been kind of dating for about one year.  For months I thought of him as my future husband.  He'd never met my friends or family.  He wanted to see me yesterday.  I had to tell him that whatever we had been doing, it wasn't working for me since I was looking for a serious relationship only.  He kept giving me excuses about his family situation.  Darling, I am well aware of your hardship in your life.  Even if you are not available so much physically, I need to know if you are ready emotionally.  I said what I had to say, but I couldn't get much out of him.  He only seemed like a whiny child.  He could never tell me what he truly wanted.  He couldn't even tell me that he liked me, ever.  I am not really a good judge of character at all... Many of my friends have to agree to that.

Breakups are never easy.  Nobody likes to get their heart broken.  Well I plan to do it one by one.

I ended with Ron.  Mike seems to be gone for now.  No more pots.  DK SD and I will be just friends from now on....he can take me shopping occasionally.  I will break up with Tom soon also.  He and I talked about just being friends so many times so he will be very understanding, I'm sure.  I would like to keep Mr. G for a little longer.  He has been a great, stable SD for almost a year.  I really like him and we are good friends.  Mr. P.  I still don't know what to do with this guy.  N.  He is the biggest problem and challenge in my life.  It has been for 4 long years.  I have no problem telling him that now I have a boyfriend whom I will most likely marry so we can't be lovers anymore.  Telling is easy.  Breaking up with him is so easy.  We have done it countless times.  The strongest force brought us back together in no time every single time.  That's why neither of us take our breakup seriously anymore.  We both know we will see each other within 10 days again.  I have no choice but keep trying.  I'm glad he is out of town for another 2 weeks.  I don't have to face it just yet.  Probably I will see him one last time, and will ask him to make it special.

I saw Mel the other night.  He cooked me lobster and we had sex, well actually no sex, he came in my mouth.  I got my allowance and many new dresses, which I will wear this weekend for Matt.
He is more of a family friend but kind of a SD since he has been supporting me financially since I was in college.  Whenever I'm in a real relationship, we just stay friends and we don't get intimate.  He is definitely invited to my future wedding.

Matt is boarding right about now.  In a few hours he will be back in NY finally!  Does he think of me as his future wife too?  "Have a nice and safe flight back, my darling".  "Thanks honey".
We will consummate tonight.

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So it's been more than one month since I started Atkins.  First few weeks were tough!  I was weak, tired, having headaches, nausea, dry skin, etc... Now I feel back to normal.  I only lost 5 lbs so far, but I think the Atkins diet is the easiest diet.  I don't have to go hungry....I can have whatever I want, as much as I want, as long as I avoid carbs and sugar.  I have been purchasing lots of Atkins products also.  I can't have carbs and sweets, but I get to enjoy butter and mayo all I want :)  I gave up on coffee and wine...that was hard.