The Best Date Then The Worst Date

After all the drama and stressful changes, I went on a date with Ron.  I was extremely nervous because I hadn't seen him since December.  I liked him too much and I wasn't sure how he felt about me anymore.  I didn't know how to act around him.  Are we still dating, or is this just a casual thing for him?
As soon as I saw his smile, I wasn't worried anymore...I was comfortable and our perfect date began.  He took me to a sexy and intimate wine bar in his neighborhood.
It was just perfect.  He was just perfect.  It seemed like we were on the same page and feelings were mutual.  Now I'm even more sure that he is the one and won't date anyone else from now on....outside of the sugar world anyways.  Ron is the busiest guy in the world but we can't let another 2 months go by before our next date!  At this pace, it will be months before we become a couple, but I know we will get married one day- I just know it.

Next day I had a date with Mr. B.  We took a day trip to the resort area and it was such a beautiful day.  We spent the whole day together and had so much fun.  I felt guilty and weird playing his girlfriend right after I came home from Ron's place in the morning, but I was trying not to think about it and focus on our date.  At the end of the day, everything turned upside down and the relationship with Mr. B ended in the most mortifying way you could think of.  It was all my fault and I'm still shaken up about this.  I can't imagine how much he hates me. 

I lost my main SD and I don't think I will replace him.  I will keep Mr. G and Jason for a while...I only see them once a month anyways. I may tell them about Ron.  I'm starting a new job tomorrow but with this salary, I can hardly survive... It will be really tough without a main SD supporting me, but what can I do...I don't want to do anything that may jeopardise my relationship with Ron.  I'm really done hurting people.  I will also break up with Tom this week.  I told N about Ron last night (he didn't really take it that seriously...I had tried to break up with him a million times in the past).  I'm trying to be honest and do the right thing as much as possible....  I'm still devastated after what happened with Mr. B (which I'm not ready to talk about).....I don't know what else to do but try to be a better person.