The new pot Mr. E seems like a lot of work. He texts and emails me all day. He even called me today. I get that he is head over heels for me, but he is not even agreeing to any arrangement yet. This is too much coming from a gift SD who is supposed to be a back up SD, sort of, and I'm not even sure if he is comfortable with buying things for me as he has suggested originally. I told him that I'm really busy with work and I can't really afford to take much time off, hinting that I can't see him much unless he starts supporting me financially. He asked, "How do we decide on your allowance?" I texted him back and just told him that I was getting $2000 monthly allowance from my previous SD (Mr. D). I wasn't expecting him to provide me with the same support, considering he has no experience in sugar dating. I just wanted to see how he would react. He didn't respond for a while. Then he texted me; "An hour and a half later and I don't know what to say. Sorry I'm such a flake". I see I scared him. Oh well. 3 hours later, he emailed me; "You can have $500 per month when I get back. You can have $1000 starting in December. I couldn't commit to any more than that. Not to say it isn't possible. I just don't want you to dump me if it isn't". Hahaha. The lowest offer I've ever heard of. Well I kinda like him so I will keep him for now. I just won't see him often, probably not more than twice a month (unless I'm bored), and there will be no sex. He never seemed to be interested in having sex anyways.
I'm going on a trip with CA SD this weekend. Our first trip for 4 days. We never speak on the phone. We exchange emails a few times a week. No texts. I rarely see him but we have a solid long term arrangement with a $3000 monthly allowance. I'm very happy with this arrangement.
FL SD is kind of missing. Supposedly he is in South America on business where he can't check his emails. I don't even remember his real name sometimes.. Well I'm sure he will be back in town in October.
I saw N yesterday. He took me to a cafe near his office. I was ready to listen to whatever he had to say but we only talked about each other's work. Even though I demanded to see him in public, we couldn't really have a serious conversation there. So we walked back to his office. He basically repeated the same things and so did I. He didn't want to let me go. I'm not sure what I was expecting from him. It seemed clear to me that he was determined to keep the other girl even if he had to lose me. I repeated that I didn't want to be his second choise. He repeated that I wasn't. I gave up. "I'm not the second. She should be". By saying that for the first time I implied that he could keep her as long as she is the one on the side....what kind of girl could be so understanding? Nobody. I got up and left. As I was waiting for the elevator, I knew he was watching me. He didn't close the door. My eyes were being filled with tears. I didn't look back. As I was leaving the building, I fantasized that he was coming after me. He didn't.
I got home. I was numb. It was the end of the world. I was deprived of the love of my life. I thought I would cry in bed in the darkness forever. Instead so much work kept coming in so I had to put my misery on the side and had to take care of some business. Breakup with N had been affecting my work negatively. I was still numb. I emailed N; "I feel so weak. I almost want to invite you over". He reponded immediately; "I can leave here in 5". "You win", I said. He jumped in a cab and came right over. We kissed like we hadn't seen each other for years. It was good. Followed by amazing sex.
I said to him, "Congrats. You won". He looked at me and said, "I didn't do anything". Right. I broke up with him and I took him back. He didn't do anything.
I slept good finally. Back to where I was. But I can focus on work and be productive again, at least.
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