Mr. D emailed me today. "I can't tell you how many times I have resisted writing to you..I hope you are doing well..I do miss you...". We didn't talk to each other for about 2 weeks. I wanted to write to him almost every day but I stayed strong and I never did. I didn't want to tempt him while he is trying to work on his marriage. He asked if we could be just friends and get together for dinner some time. I told him that I don't think we can be friends but I agreed to seeing him for dinner next week. Obviously we still want each other badly and it will be only torture to see each other without being intimate...
He is only torturing himself really! He wants to keep his marriage and family, so he doesn't want to cheat with me again but having a hard time letting me go. Does he really think we can be friends? Is this just an excuse to see me without feeling guilty? I will dress up really good with my new super high heels... If I can be selfish, I want him back. But I don't want to put him through any more tremendous stress from our risky affair. He will not get a second chance next time. He will lose everything.
I told him that I do not have a new man in my life, which is true- I have been talking to so many pot SDs but I haven't found a new SD yet. I only got $500 allowance this month!!!! Well I'm supposed to meet a few more guys this month, so let's see.
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